Here we go…time to bust out the bic and say goodbye to any trace of hair I had left on my head!
Better stand still…
So one of the reasons I was a little apprehensive about shaving my head was that I have three bumps on my head. They’re sebaceous cysts, according to the doctor, who also said that removing them would be cosmetic and therefore not covered by insurance. Boo. I was a little worried that they would look funny, and a little more worried that it would be difficult to shave them without hurting them. The cysts themselves aren’t painful. As it turns out, it didn’t hurt. Whew! They do look a little funny, and according to my mom, the one that’s smack dab in the middle of my forehead looks like a headlight in the dark. But hey, if I can’t laugh at myself, I guess I should’ve kept my hair, right?
Apparently I inherited these bumps from my parents:
So how will people perceive me now?
My co-workers got to see a whole new side of me:
I think I heard someone say “bear your soul.” This makes me think of an earlier post (11/30), when I mentioned that I wanted to simply be myself and let my true personality shine through. I think that sharing this experience with my students and the staff at work did show them a part of my soul, and my true heart for the people I work with.
So Maiden, bless his heart, was ever the gentleman when he offered to fulfill my request for a paper towel:
Yes Maiden, I promise it’ll grow back!
He wasn’t the only one having a hard time with this process:
Still, let’s remember that he did cut off a ponytail! He’s in denial…
One of my students likes to say “I hate it” when he likes something.
So when he said this, I assumed he liked my new look!
Another student was very interested in this process (it took her about 5 seconds to cut one of my ponytails, after she was eagerly waiting for her turn). She had something to say afterwards:
So what would you think if you saw me on the street?
My Mom said she would think I had cancer. I’ve been thinking that this would actually be a great opportunity to tell people about how I gave my hair to Locks of Love, and also to talk about people I've known who have had cancer, both those who are survivors and those who lost their lives. I also have a coworker who has Alopecia Areata, a condition that causes round patches of hair loss. She is such a wonderful person, and hearing about how she struggles with losing her hair and how this affects her self image, made me want to support her through shaving my head. This whole thing has become much more meaningful to me knowing people who've been affected by hair loss. It goes so much farther than just a fundraiser.
My students have taken a liking to just looking at me and laughing.
I’m actually rather enjoying this:
So I happened to be performing at my church’s annual Christmas show, playing oboe, on December 11th and 12th. No one except the director knew that I was shaving my head the day before the first performance… And why did I decide to do this in the winter, you may ask?
Hmm, didn’t think about my bald head hitting the cold pillow at night…
This one is a little choppy (had to take student names out) but I just had to share the best quote of the day: “oh my goodness…you’re so bald!”
Another one of the students has taken a liking to looking at my head and giggling. She has the best giggle, like she’s trying so hard not to let it out, but every once in a while you hear a squeal. It’s hilarious! When I ask her “what happened?” she usually responds with “bald headed” or “no hair!”
Last thoughts…
…and from Maiden
It took him until the following Wednesday to finally accept my offer and touch my head. He does it voluntarily now, always with a smile on his face. I’ve heard from staff that he’s said “it hurts my heart” but I think he’s actually coming around and accepting that my hair’s gone now. His new nickname for me is “pelón” (“bald” in Spanish). One day, he said “it’s cool!”
A few more of my students have followed suit in the whole “point and laugh” routine. Maiden actually did this to me once! It caught me so off guard that I just gave him a weird look and told him that I didn’t know what to think about that! Another student has taken a liking to putting his hand on my head. Whenever he reaches out, I lean down and let him feel my head – he just smiles and laughs every time! I called over another one of my students (who wasn’t there the day of the event):
“Come here, guess what?”
“What is it?”
I pulled off my beanie.
“It’s nice – oh lucky you!”
Later, she told another staff member, “Wow, she cut all her hair off, so cool!”
In addition to my students’ reactions, in the days following the event, I’ve had the honor of sharing the story with anyone who asks, “why did you cut your hair?” It’s such a great opportunity to share what I do at my work, and the incredible uniqueness of my job.
I’ve received some interesting reactions from people so far. It’s hard to say for sure, but it seems like some people are trying not to stare, while others are just a little “too” cool about it. Once, I caught a little boy staring at me, so I waved. He waved back! That particular experience made me think of how I can spread even a different message of what it means to accept people, regardless of their differences. It’s not every day you see a bald girl! When you look at me, sure, you see the fact that I’m bald, but my bald head doesn’t define who I am. When I look at my students, sure, I see the fact that they have a disability, but this doesn’t define who they are. When I look at my students, I see their potential. I’m looking forward to all the conversations I’ll get to have with people about this!
At any rate, I don’t get to do too many hair styles until I can start growing my hair back. While I’m not in that much of a hurry – having no hair is SO easy to manage! – it would really be nice to have a new computer sooner rather than later. So spread the word, and if you want me to grow my hair back soon, please make a donation. Every little bit helps!
